Have you ever noticed that guys with piercing blue eyes manage to suck you into their grasp that much quicker and stronger than those with brown or green? There’s something so intriguing about them, almost like staring into tiny tropical islands!
The Repeat Performer’s baby blues were mesmerizing! He was seductive and elegant, and almost knew every “right” thing to do. On our first date, many years ago when I lived in Manhattan, RP was a consummate gentleman. He took me to an upscale lounge, bought me a drink, and we seemed to hit it off! He expressed great interest in seeing me again, and when we realized we both loved to cook, he suggested our second date be a dinner date, where we’d both cook together in his apartment. After he walked me to a cab, he kissed me on the cheek, not even trying to get in a real kiss, and I thought it was nice to be out with someone who was trying to grope me, but then again, I do like a nice kiss at the end of a good first date!
Now, I had been online dating for several years at this point, half of my friends with me in this arena, and half coupled off. When I first started dating, one of my dearest girlfriends at the time was without a man, and she tested the online dating waters as well. On her second go, she met a guy she had an amazing connection with, they had a handful of dates, and then he disappeared, presumably after getting what he wanted from her. I don’t think she slept with him, those details are unknown to me, but she must have fooled around with him enough for him to lose interest. I encouraged her to reach out to him, as we were both incredulous (and extremely naive at the time, I will admit) as to why he had disappeared, and he wrote her back a scathing email, breaking up with her on the spot! Her Greg Berendt moment: he was just not that into her! My friend scorned this jerk, and luckily, he was her last real date before meeting the man she would marry.
So, cut to several years later, and I’m on my way to RP’s apartment. He met me at the door, and we quickly headed over to Whole Foods, shopped for our items, and flirted innocently through the isles. When we got back, we each started our dishes, and continued the flirting and innocent touching. Things heated up a bit, but it was all pretty tame, and then while everything was boiling on the stove and baking in the oven, RP sat down to the piano and began playing show tunes.
Ok, what???? Show tunes? Where the hell does that come from? What 35 year old straight man plays Christopher Cross and the theme from Cats in his spare time, let alone to seduce a date? I thought it was odd, and the first red flag went up, but I plowed on through!
We sat down for dinner, and it was quite good. We continued to flirt, even though I felt a little funny from the opening act, but I continued to enjoy myself. After dinner, we took our glasses of wine into the living room, sat down to talk, and started to make out a little. Again, the evening remained pretty PG, but it was definitely heating up, and RP was more than a little into it! And, then, as if on cue, RP started to hint it was getting late, and he needed to get to his other house out of the city. Red flag #2! How many 35 year olds keep an apartment in Manhattan, but own a house in CT? (Married, much?)
So, even though he was driving to his “other” house, and clearly wanted me to leave, he walked me to the street, put me in a cab, said he’d see me soon, and I got in knowing I would never see him again. Something had shifted. I saw it in his eyes, and I felt it in my gut; I didn’t think I even wanted to see him again.
So, when I got home and called my girlfriend, as I did after most dates, and began to explain the events of the evening, I told her about the strange behavior, and there was silence on the other end. I asked what was wrong, and in a panicky, shaky voice, all I heard her say was, “That’s the Repeat Performer, Dara! You were out with the Repeat Performer.” The same guy we had both hated for using and dumping her all these years had been the jerk I was just with! We both had the same exact dates with him: charming first date followed by a romantic meal cooked at his place, and a bit of sexy time on the couch!
Who knows how many there were before, after, and in between us! Sometimes I even thought of stopping by to ask the doormen; God, they must have a good laugh as they watch the revolving door of women this guy used and abused. I lucked out, never really getting too into him. But, I can only imagine how many there were that looked into his eyes and saw a charmer, only to be followed by the snake! Girls, watch out for those show tunes!!!!